


what kind of person denies felix of anything?

by chefs_kiss_jin



Category: Stray Kids (Band)
Genre: Bang Chan is Whipped, Bang Chan is a Panicked Gay, Bang Chan is a Sweetheart, Bang Chan-centric, Internalized Homophobia, M/M, Porn with Feelings, Soft Lee Felix (Stray Kids)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-04
Updated: 2020-09-04
Packaged: 2021-03-07 00:47:42
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,490
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26278153
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/chefs_kiss_jin/pseuds/chefs_kiss_jin
Summary: Chris having trouble with his gay realization, and Felix unknowingly helps.
Relationships: Bang Chan/Lee Felix
Comments: 3
Kudos: 193





	what kind of person denies felix of anything?

**Author's Note:**

> Read before moving on to the Fic!
> 
> -DISCLAIMER: This writing is a work of fiction and will always be fiction. Nothing in this story is meant to resemble the real life Felix and Bangchan and is only a work of my imagination. The only thing that is similar is the use of their names. 
> 
> Thanks!

Chan loved Stray Kids. He loved being their leader, he really did. But sometimes being the main producer, leader, and have to deal with his own problems on top of that, made it difficult. So difficult he may or may not cry himself to sleep every night, and wonder if he's really making the cut for them. He would never give up his position or wonder if this was really the life for him, because he wouldn't give up the energy of the crowd or the late nights with the members for anything. But are they willing to give him up? Would they rather have the all-telling Minho as their leader? Strong Changbin? Or would they rather have handsome Hyunjin, maybe Fun-Guy Jisung?

The deeper Chris was willing to go into his head, the more he believed it. The more he cried. The less he slept. He didn't think it was ever going to stop.

-

It was a Saturday, and that meant everyone laid in heaps all around the apartment, either sleeping or cuddling with their eyes closed. What these Saturdays meant for Chris was that he got to work on songs all day without interruption. Or at least he thought.

He sat in his chair, and started to hit random keys on the keyboard, trying to spark some inspiration. Soon after an hour, he had a chorus melody. It was pretty and sweet. He didn't have to make songs for any particular purpose, so he figured he would just make something for himself this time. He went through the melody, and started singing some words along to it, trying to find the perfect fit. Not something he usually did, but something got into him today. He was so immersed in the midst of the song that he didn't realize when someone walked in the door.

"That song sounds really pretty, Channie. What's it for?"

"Oh, hey Lix." Chan turned around. "Nothing in particular."

"Please don't overwork yourself." Felix's eyes turned worried.

"I'm not-"

"Yes, you are." Felix took it as an affirmation. "Now come watch a movie with me."

What kind of person did you have to be to deny Felix of something? A monster?

"Fine. Give me a few minutes. You can sit on the couch over there." Felix went over and plopped down on the brown leather cushions, curling his legs up to rest his chin on his knees. Chan pressed a few more keys and added more instruments to the mix, and also hummed a few more lyrics.

When he finished, Felix was still in the same position, eyes bright. He smiled wide and hopped up. "Let's go!" He grabbed Chris's hand and pulled him toward his room. He let go once they were inside, and pulled out his laptop from under his pillow, and opened it up.

Felix sat it on his nightstand, with a movie ready to play, called _Mary and the Witch's Flower_. "Sit." He instructed. Chan sat down on the bed, and Felix pushed him to lay horizontally, and then climbed on top of him to rest his cheek on his chest, and wrap his arms around.

Felix never really did this with Chris, so he was pretty shocked. Felix clicked play and the movie begun. The two of them were close and warm up against each other. And if Chan looked down, he could see every freckle on his cheeks. His stomach erupted in butterflies and his heart started beating fast. He squeezed Lix a little closer. This was nice. This was comfortable. Except for the fact that Chan's face was heating up and he was panicking.

-

Chris wasn't gay. No. He couldn't be. He had kissed lots of girls before, and he hadn't particularly enjoyed it, but he'd find someone soon. Yeah, when he cuddled Felix and fell asleep with him, his heart skyrocketed and his brain was on a permanent Cloud 9, but that was just because Felix helped him sleep. When he fell asleep holding Felix, he didn't have to fight the urge to cry, he didn't have to be alone with his thoughts. He felt safe.

-

Okay Chris DEFINITELY wasn't gay. Hear him out on this. He isn't gay. But having a wet dream with a guy in it might be a small bit gay. BUT STILL. It was a dream, and it was out of his control.

-

He couldn't help it anymore, and he just stopped holding back. Chris squeezed Felix back as much as he pleased, even started cuddling sessions, even gave him little kisses on the head. But he wasn't gay. Felix is his little brother. They're great friends. Like family, he couldn't possibly be...

-

Yeah... okay. Maybe Chris was gay. Maybe. But who can blame him when Felix's skin is so smooth and soft... LISTEN HE ISN'T A CREEP OKAY, it isn't his fault he walked in on Felix with just his boxers on. It isn't his fault that Felix didn't seem to care and said "come in". It isn't his fault that the freckles dusted over his shoulders and collarbones are hot. It isn't his fault he's so pretty. He might be gay. But he damn sure isn't telling anyone.

-

"Felix, I think I'm gay." The words rushed out of his mouth, and he shut it before he said anything more. 

Felix looked up at Bangchan from the spot he had lain on his chest. "That's perfectly okay, Channie, and it doesn't change anything at all, I promise. I'm bisexual, anyways."

-

The longer and longer Chris intoxicated himself with Felix, the more he forgot about his issues and worries. Until Felix was gone one night. He was sleeping on the couch, and Chan didn't want to wake him, so he went to sleep in Felix's room. unfortunately for him, the smell of Felix wasn't enough to stop him from crying his eyes out, everything suddenly crashing back onto him. Felix and his stupid soft hair. Felix and his stupid pretty freckles. Felix and his stupid long eyelashes. Felix and his stupid small body and nice cuddles and bubbly personality. Felix. He was in love with Felix.

Everything flipped upside down. Everything was turned. Chris forgot his name. He just cried.

-

One night, Chan and Lix were laying down watching a movie, as per usual. And Felix reached overhead to grab something behind Chan. By doing this, he was so close to Chan's face it was scary. They jut stared for a second. Then they realized what was happening, and Felix tried to pull away.

"Oh, sorry I uhm-"

Chan pulled his face back down, and kissed him. His lips were sweeter than sugar, and his face felt like putty in his hands. Felix kissed him back, and sighed into it. Chan licked Felix's bottom lip, and he parted his lips to let Chan's tongue inside. Felix leaned down more and deepened the kiss, pressing their hips flush together, and their crotches slightly brushed. Felix moaned dripping honey, vibrations coursing through their mouths. He did it again, and moaned even louder. He pulled away from Chan's lips to look a him for reassurance. His face was so blushy and red, lips glossy and kissed. Chris rolled his hips upward and threw his head back. God, this was better than any of the wet dreams. He let a deep whine shamelessly escape his throat. Felix grinded down on him again, and they both moaned.

Felix set a steady pace, looking absolutely fucked. Strings of curses left his mouth and a few _ah ah ah_ 's here and there. he started picking up the pace a little more, starting to moan even harder. Chan was groaning equally as much.

"Fuck fuck fuck Channie I'm gonna come."

Those words shot a bolt of lightning through to Chan's core. "M-me too baby."

Felix went faster.

"S-so pretty. The way you-"

As soon as Chan started to praise him, Felix let out a long string of moans as he came in his pants, Chan following shortly after with a long whine.

Felix collapsed on Chris's chest, and breathed in deeply. They really just did that.

"So... baby, huh?" Felix asked, sitting up to look at Chan.

"Yeah... I mean, if you don't like it-"

"No, I _love_ it." Felix said with a big smile, and he gave Chris a kiss on the lips. Or two. Or three.

"Will you be my boyfriend?" The words escaped before Chan could catch them.

"Yes! Of course!" Felix's smile got impossibly wider, and he hugged Chan close.

"I think I'm in love with you." Chris blurted, again.

"I'm in love with you too." Felix said, softly.

"I really wanna lay here, but we both came in our pants and it's gonna get gross really soon."

Felix sighed. "You're right. Shower with me?"

"Yeah, sure."

After all, what kind of person did you have to be to deny Felix of something? A monster?


End file.
